Untitled Poem (racetrack shaped like a capital O)

hello I can feel you in there

you're a racetrack

shaped like a capital O

you're a U-pipe

connected to another

U-pipe

you're a plate spinning around

and around

you're a DJ's vinyl record scratch

you're a front door

that takes me to the back door

you're a circular hallway

the world's tiniest maze

you're a gear with gum in the nooks

you're a TV show rewinding against same 2 seconds

you're a key in the ignition revving the engine

you're my hands over my ears

you're van gogh's scream

you're me trying to run

in a dream

you're a sawblade roaring under water

you're a giant gently pulling back on my jumper

you're a wall made of glass blocks

you're a soapy windshield

you’re a buzzer that goes off

when I open my eyes

you're the lights keeping me awake at night

you're the hammer that threatens

you’re wire on my jaw

you lock everything in place

so it can't move at all

I can't stand up

I can't look out of my tiny window

without being struck

not a thought off script

you're the flashlight in my eyes

and the shadowy figure telling me lies

 

I don't know what I've done wrong

there’s no way for me to know

I'm just poked

and poked

and poked

until I give up

until I'm sobbing saying

"what do you want from me?

I'll do anything, anything."

You broke me a long time ago

For what reason

I still don't know

I'd have done anything you wanted

The worst part is

I don't think you ever wanted anything

Anything

Anything

Just please make it stop

Please make it stop

Please don't ask me any more questions

Please

 

Thick scab

In the middle of my forehead

Thick crusty scab

Throbbing moss

Melting off

Melting off

Warm paint dripping

Headache shifting

Into my face

Hardens into a mask

around my eyes

I can trace the lines

To the time

I took a shovel and dug out my brain

 

I replaced it with soil

Hoping to grow something better

I had an engine

Until she flooded it with thick oil

I had a crystal blue lake

Til’ it began to boil

 

No more questions

No more questions, please

Please

I'm already broken

Please

Don't make me run that track

shaped like a capital O

Whatever you're wanting

I don't know

I don't know

I don't know

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